Happiness is something that feels strange to me at times – almost like I’m not allowed to feel it. That is something that comes up for me alot actually; old fears from my upbringing rear up occasionally still and make me feel as if I’m breaking some rule in being joyous. This is true for me working towards goals as well – if those goals seem too awesome, some part of me whispers, “but can I really be ALLOWED this?”
Making a choice to work towards and attain something meaningful can seem really daunting – you have to believe you deserve it, and draw the energies needed to you to help it manifest. Then, after receiving the energies and inspiration required so that you have a starting point, go out into the world; literally, live in your dream world in real life.
Something helpful that I want to share is how to go about doing this, but I’m struggling to convey in some sort of coherent sentence how that works. Condensing my thoughts can be a struggle, so I’m going to describe what I’ve been doing:
- I draw a card from my Motherpeace deck, asking the Ma to show me how to get something I need
- When I get the card (today for instance, the Priestess of Cups), I read it as I would a card normally, considering more what images and feeling the picture invokes rather than the literal book definition. The card itself was tilted hard left quite a ways, telling me that the energy represented by the card is being held back in someway – so for example, the Priestess’ hands seemed feeble and weak to me today, her phase sad and hopeless. Which is actually a pretty good description of how I felt first thing this morning, and most likely shows the way in which this energy is being held back – I feel too helpless and feeble to embody the artistic, emotional, spiritual power and receive the blessings of the Goddess that this card depicts. Which is again, in ways I won’t get into here, quite accurate.
- I then image I can breathe in the card, and the energies it represents; it becomes a meditation. I breathe in the energies show, to fill me completely…than ask them to go where needed in me for my healing and growth. I continue this for as long as I feel necessary, and throughout the day, if needed.
And how does this help? Well, because I trust in the Ma, I know She will not show me something harmful, and my reading of the card bears this out – it makes sense, based on my current situation, that I received this card. By understanding how the positive energy of this image represents is held back in me, and choosing to breathe in these energies into me, I’m making a powerful conscious choice of acceptance, one that ripples through the subconscious – I am choosing not to feel feeble anymore. I am choosing not to feel helpless. I move the card from it’s hard left tilt to upright; I am the Priestess of Cups, and I am strong and capable and yes, artistic and emotionally connected.
This is only one way of many to help draw to you what you need, and it’s worth noting that with all the energy exercises and meditations in the world, you still need to go out and look for what you need, as mentioned above – I can be inspired by countless different solutions to problems, but if I don’t act on them, the problem remains. And one need not use Motherpeace tarot specifically, or tarot at all. Any image of meaning to you can be used for this process, or no image; a phrase or mantra, if that is more your style, would work equally well. I hope this helps someone!